> My unseen sins

~~Tuesday, June 23, 2009~~

6:54 PM

One after another.

I'm currently venturing money crisis. Not even a single cent in my hand. Mum has been cooking either vegetables or maggie. Fuck siol!

Indeed I'm a lazy ass. I don't like house chores. I use to but not anymore eversince my little fuckers always messed up the house. I know I like mopping floors and cooking. Its fun anyway making the floors wet and clean. Mum,dad and now boyfriend has been nagging and I guess its time to set ne rules around the house. I show you who I am!

Hopefully,things shall change into a better one. One thing for sure,I hating washing clothes!!! Seperating colours and quality. Tsskkk.. That's fucking troublesome. Well,I do miss cleaning. Tsskkk.

I need money now. For me.my family and of course,quality time with my dear boyfriend.

+ I shall get back to where I end it. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Sunday, June 21, 2009~~

3:02 PM

Give me money and I shall be good.

Yes,I'm in the need of money. Fuck ok? Don't ask so many question. Now,my handphone is giving me problem and so does my fucking fucked up laptop. Mum hasn't been giving me holiday allowance. Sial uh! No ciggerettes no cash no nothing sia! Fuck la!

If I could,I would pick pocket and use the cash to buy my needs. If I could,I would kill myself just to kill the needs.

Fuck la!

+ You can't even provide me money. Tk gune nye parents! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Saturday, June 20, 2009~~

2:46 AM

Emotion strikes once you step on my foot twice.

I was thinking. Of all the people I know in the past. And all the mistakes plus the sins I've made. I remember clearly what he had told me before. A stick in between my fingers,words and advices in my head. I was being totally childish and jealous all over. The taste of regret ain't so sweet afterall. It kills the people around me and so it kills me too.

Fucked. Screwed. Screamed. Die.

I smoke. I drink. I lie. I screwed the whole shit out of me. Maybe,smoking and drinking isn't that bad. But,hurting others? Hurting physically can be cured with any medications applied. But to hurt someone at the heart,may cost you to lose their trust,friendship that was so strong as ever. But how do you cure a person heart? It will,over times to come but we can still feel the pain,onl if we were to think back. The faces of the gorgeous ladies,the faces of the charming dudes. I've lost a friend,someone that always makes me laugh. Eventhough we aren't that close before and then. Eventhough we only knew each other only for a few months. Thanks for the help and you're courages words.

Majority of the parents,goody good guys would expect a girl who doesn't smoke,drink and faithful. But,do they ever think what makes a goody good girl turns to be the bitchiest bitch fucked up ones? I guess not. For the people they love cause them to be this way. And I've my reson for being this way.

A few friends' of mine told me that they don't understand why I've to keep things to myself. For,they have yet to know me better. I really miss my friends'. But now,where are they? They didn't even call me up for any outings or plan something to spend quality time together. I may not be the one who likes to keep shut and do things together. Wear expensive clothes like a walking wardrobe,like my dear nat would say so. But what I get is bitching behind each others back. What the hell??? I may not be close with you people anymore but you know very well how I treasure you people. I may be leftout,but hey,I'm still here,waiting for your messages and calls. But not a single one. Thanks,this is just great.

Yes,I'm hinting to this people. But I would not want to expose their names here. For they should know who they are. I do believe,people change. But I only hope for the best. Those who have worsen,then its not my loss. All the best for your next life aye?

I care for you. I keep shut when you wanted to let go of your anger. And you said I'm stepping on your head? tsskk.. Now its my turn to tell you this. One day,you will see the beauty of the things I've done to you.

A man stood there,convey-ing messages after messages. Facts of life. When? Where? How? What? I keep that in mind. For you inspired me,most.

Another man,having his butt rest on the chair with a stick of ciggerettes. Convey-ing a message. With proper manners and apologising if it ever make an impact to me. Though the face expression sucks,his another inspiration.

I would be glad to listen,not answering question,from these two man.

Now,I'm cycling my way in becoming a rockstar. Dad is helping out with guitar lessons. My dear nat is helping out with vocals. I may not in a band,but hopefully I can achieve something out of this. And yes,those two are my most beloved at heart. One day,we will be somebody. All of us will. Patience,my dear.

+ I've lots more to say. But will you listen? +

.I Wrote This Shit.

2:04 AM

Its been quite sometimes huh?

Okay. I haven't been updating often eyy? I can't say that I'm busy but I might say I've nothing much to share and yea,definitely busy with kiddy games! tehehehe..

So,I had outings with my lovely Alfairah. I can't remember when is the date but I do remember what happen for sure! I remember me stuff our stomach with foods from Seoul Garden! That was the fucking first I actually step in to that kind of place to eat. Its quite expensive though but worth it too. I remember we actually make 'ice kacang' and the taste gave out a funny one. Lovely ladies'. After eating to our full,we went around Esplanade area which I can't recall the name of the place. Took pictures and laugh and talk nonsense and I remember darling Khaleeda took a video of us talking and pestering me to sing this stupid song! tssskk... After a walk around the area,we went back to Tampines and had a chat wif hot and cold beverages on our table at Macdonalds'. I must say,I miss my lovely darlings.. And I heard there's issues between those lips. bleargh~

Babes,send me those photos please.. I would like to post the pictures here including my other outings luhh.. imy darla..

Another so called outing was with my loveable boyfriend. We thought of going for a feast and yea,he wanted to eat at Seould Garden. So,we had out meals there too. The fucked up part was the overall price. We were charged for 57 fucking clicks! nyahaha! Lucky he brought extra cash. Oh we ordered something stupid but its nice. So,that will be my second time I step into that kind of places to eat.

What else.....

Oh yeah.. On Thursday,which is last two days from today. I had splendid time with these idiots. They are Kanchong spider Guss,Fanatic Kel and of course my one and only loveable boyfriend,Nat. We went to Safra and enjoy the pool game for 2 straight hours. It was great. With the stupid jokes and distraction from fanatic Kel and shorty boyfriend Nat. Oh yea.. Thanks Guss for the treat yea! And oh yea,I've beaten Kel and Guss la sia! Ok I've yet to beat my shorty boyfriend! tsskkk..

Once I received my pay,we shall go play pool again ates next week? No promises. :]

Pictures babes! I want it! Send it through my email can?? Please darlings..

+ 17 more days to our special day,sayangku nat. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Friday, June 5, 2009~~

12:13 AM

I'm not you,fuckers.

You may enjoy your fucking life,but I'm not enjoying mine. I've no one to talk to,share with and go out with much. Maybe if I were to have thousands of dollars in my hand,I would have gladly go out shopping rather than being stuck in front of this laptop of mine. I'm sick of my everyday life. No joy no fun. Guitar,games,guitar,games,sleep,tv and nothing more interesting to do. Just fuck. Fuck you guys too!

+ Fuck your big mouth. Too much bitchy stuff. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Tuesday, June 2, 2009~~

8:01 PM

What do I deserve?

If I were to share,who would care? If I were to run,who would run after?
Names given,unexpectedly. A minor mistake,had made a big flame. Why? Not being patience enough? Or just can't control the temper within?

My dear,I apologise for words that I don't mean it. I believe,I don't have the intention about it at all. Trust me,you're a good guy.

I've nothing against anything and I've forgiven her. Trust me,I do.

Thanks,my dear.

+ My head spin. My back ache. The cause of my lost in mood. +

.I Wrote This Shit.