The sickening feeling I've long felt. I've to lose weight. Though I did my skippings and other workouts,it just doesn't make any different. I'm short plus fat equals,UGLY! Fuck ain't it? Even if I did put an effort towards it,no one will know. And soon,he will be enjoying his drink. I'll be the one losing my happiness for the month,year,oh whatever. Who cares anyway? Fuck it. I hate this. Anyone sweet and caring fuckers or bitches would like to be my fitness trainer? The one who would stand for me? Anyone who would be sincerely enough to help me and always be there for me! Plus,not hurting me in a way. Ahahaha! Fuck fantasy. Fallen dreams.
I had fun yesterday. Went out with my dearest girlfriend's,FAEZA,UMMAIRAH and KHALEEDA!!! We had our lunch at KFC which eventually saw a handsome guy! *melts* We walk around Century Square and bought earrings and ear studs. Walk around Tampines Mall and played around in Toy'R'Us and afterwhich headed to Faeza house to see Obesity/Britbrit. Her new pet rabbit!!! Cute la seyy! That cute rabbit made my day for awhile. It lick my hand! Cute cute cute!!! I want one too! But the dissapointing thing is that Mai can't tag along. Blearggghhh..
Thought of heading home after that but mum called me up to buy food for dinner. So I tagged along and I'm dead tired at night. I bought a new shoe!! Yayee!!! And a dress caught my eye.. I'm so getting it. Saving up time!!!
Night falls and wanted to hear ghost story from station 89.7fm or 98.7fm.. I don't which one is it but then,I fell asleep after hearing the laughs of the banshee.
And boyfy did his stuff while I do mine. Monday lepakk tau kawan2!!! Don't change plan ok?
+ Lovely day for the day. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
10:44 PM
School won't be fun without true friend's.
Reminiscing the days,the years we spent together on a bus ride to my school makes me cry. Tried so hard to control. But lucky no one notice or it will be a big shame. I swear,I miss my dearly friends'.
Before I went to school,I've made a visit to East View. The first person I saw and heard shouting my name,Faeza,followed by Ummairah. When I hug them,I swear I miss them so much. I miss having them by my sides. The school brings alot of memories. I still remember the hideouts when we skipped classes. The dirty toilet where me and my sweet darlings smoke. And the canteen,where we eat,looking at hot guys during our sec 2 lifes. And I went crazy for this guy,which is my ex now,due to his hot-ness.
My school now,ITE East,Simei. Is just mundane,almost each and everyday. Many will think that it will be fun to study in that big campus as there's Pool/Billiard/Snooker table,swimming pool,multimedia centre where you can just use the comp as and when you like,gym and also having more than 2 cafe's in the school. But than,the thing is,it won't be fun without a true friend or maybe atleast a close friend with you to enjoy the days' spent there. Like me. In my class,I'm the only malay girl and my chinese girl friend's doesn't seem that they want to hang out with me or something. They prefer among the chinese guy's. It may get fun after awhile with my guy friend's but it'll get boring and insecure. Though I trusted them,still my bf don't really know them.
The girl's of 403(08) are the girl's I tresure most in my heart. They are my true friend's despite their ugly attitude at times and though I admit my attitude is uglier then theirs! And the guys there,Ashraf is still the best for me.
And oh,Ardillah,thanks for the concern . Ahahha! Sungguh tidak disangkekan.
+ Let the memories stay. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
9:33 PM
Let me paint you love.
Get me any digi cameras and I shall put up alot of pictures here. Or probably I would camwhore the whole day with friends' or loved ones. I'm just bored. And I'm back on Neopets! Childish ain't it? But what do I care anyway? Its fun. And it doesn't even bother you. Bleeaarrrgggghhh...
I'm so missing my girlfriend's!! And currently I'm excited and can't wait to meet them tomorrow at school! Lalalalala...
My days' at school is just fine. Atleast my guy friends' there keep me entertain. Lucky I'm used hanging around with guy friend's so having a new guy as a close friend doesn't make me feel akward. And I'm liking projects. Its fun. But abhor theory. Sick! I hate Physics!!! Fuck Physics!!!
Oh I need a massage. And a new hairstyle. Ahahaha!
+ I miss cheerleading. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
10:01 PM
The urge of need.
Ok I've made up my mind. I'm so having tongue piercing. But the problem is,who can do it for me? If I were to have at a shop,it will cost tens of bucks. I've yet to pay the bloody MRT fines. Should I pierce it myself? Or just ask any random people do it for me? Bleargghhh.. $500. Where can I get that money?
I'm just getting bored each and everyday. I've been drawing dumb things to make me smile. Art is always in me. Oh maybe,just maybe I just miss doing things that got to do with art and creativity,that I want to have piercing and such? Ok just plain nonsense.
I'm going crazy! Any big shots who can pay for my fines?!!! Arrgggghhhhh!
+ Hit me hard as I'm losing control. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
12:21 AM
I took thousands of colouful chocolate rice to paint my walls.
Get it? Oh just fuck it. I'm not in the mood 'cause I keep losing in Solitare. Just irritate me! Oh I'm addicted to card games. It's been days' I've last updated. Reasons,Solitaire took up my time 'till I'm to sleepy.
I miss Starbucks Parkway. I miss the people there. I miss blending drinks and serving drinks to a customer who enjoys drinking it. I miss that feeling. I want a laugh. A good laugh. I miss my dear,my dearest boyfriend whom I loved eversince I got to know him well. I miss being loved so dear that I can just hug that particular person tight.
There's nothing else I can do except staring at the sky and imagine stuff. I miss a friend. Who use to be there when I'm in need of help. Who teaches me numbers and formula's. Who is so crazy beyond words.
Take a look at this world. What can the world give you? What can you give the world? Do you appreciate for all the things that the world has given you? Do you appreciate the love that you've gotten from someone you cared for?
+ Music has a heartbeat. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
10:02 PM
Faking it.
It seems that I've not been updating often like I used to. Its just that my life is getting bored. Though,a few made my day,but none has completed my day. I've yet to complete my school project work and tomorrow I've to sit for a re-test as I didn't do well for my test. Fuck it. Its all Physics and wirings. My girlfriend's will surely know that I hate Physics. But then,I miss Maths. Ehehehe.. Miss Simultaneous Equations!
For my day today,it was fine. Did some stupid work that was told by my fugging teacher. And I help my friends' with their project work. Ahhh! Just stupidity! But I enjoy playing 'tai ti' with them! Out of 7 rounds,I only lost 2 times'! Wehehehe!
Oh yea.. Next month,I'll be having flea market! Bangles,ear studs and a few clothing will be on sale! I'm selling bangles for all unisex wear. Its like those thick ones. The metalcore,rock people would put on. We're selling for less then 10 bucks. For more enquiries,ask me from my tagboard aytes? No spammers please. Spammers suck their father cock! Loser,fucker!
+ Dear,do you even ____ me? +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
7:05 PM
and we didn't even take a photo of our outing yesterday.
wtf? what a waste. the ache totally drives me crazy. sweet-less. taste-less.
+ just kill me. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
4:26 PM
Controled Emotions.
What is Valentine's to you? As you read his blog,he has stated it all. What are we celebrating it for then? I find it pointless now. Oh well,the day has past. I've celebrated Valentine's 3 times now. 1 with my ex and 2 with my current bf. So,we just catch a movie and blablabal. Pointless for me to share my day with you fucker's here you see. Its pointless me being sweet and romantic now. I guess my day's of being pampered is over. I'm turning 17 soon. And my happy day's will be over too. Its time to get back to reality. As you can see my love life is much mature then me.
I'm a shame to the name female. I'm not matured enough. All I ever want is to be pampered,loved and get all the attention from him. What the fuck am I thinking?
I miss my friend's back in secondary schools. Though I may not get what I want,atleast I can get all the laugh and all the stupidity I can do to vent my anger out. Now,I feel bad about celebrating Valentine's Day.
+ Heart ache. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
12:18 AM
Tears of joy.
Firstly,Happy Valentine's Day to all couple's in the world and Happy Friendship Day too all my friends!!!
Okie. Finally,my black TG-M guitar is fixed and I'm back strumming it again! My another guitar has a crack beneath the machine head. Thanks to my fucking siblings! And so,thanks to my dear he fixed both my guitar! Thanks syg!
Well,I really miss having Faeza around in class. It's really boring to mix around with guys the whole hour. I can't really go crazy with them. It's just plainly boredom for me at school!!!
Congrats to my dear,his going to RP very soon. Oh darn.. When will be my turn to enter poly. School is just sick now. But though its sick,I do laugh to some lame jokes of Di and Ard. Just love them. So called,temporarily best friend. :]
I'll be looking forward for a good and memorable day today. Love you so much my dear! And I miss you so much my darling FAEZA!!!
+ She do remember me. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, February 9, 2009
7:14 PM
Dear Dairy..
My life is just bored like always. And yesterday,I went jogging with dear and my leg is fucking tired. And I totally forget I had PE today. And my leg got worse. But eventually,I had to do skipping as I lie that I had a cramp on my right leg to get attention so too bad for me.
My dairy is full. There's no more pages left for me to write down my sorrowness. So,it's time for me to buy a new book so I can continue jotting down my effing life.
Time will tell what happen. If you really love someone eventhough knowing people change,and knowing you wasted many many months,you will stay to show your faithfulness.
One thing for sure. I hate myself for being fat. I don't even have the stamina to run for atleast 10 minutes. Why can't I be like other fucking girls? I know my leg can stand the pain. But I can't breath properly. There's a pierce in my lungs/heart which I don't know where. Don't keep emphasis it again and again. Its really enough for me. I really wished that I was slim. Its really fucked up. And its not easy to win your heart.
Does making one sad and keeping all the pain to itself makes one happy?
+ My tear makes you angry. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
4:52 PM
Stains of blood.
Nothing please me today as you can see my day is filled with just food and food. I'm so not going to stuff all the food in my stomach! And so,I smoke and smoke in my room until Im left with only 3 sticks. I think its time for me to buy a carton atleast. My pay is out. And I find it pointless for me to keep it. What am I suppose to keep it for? License? It will be a year away and I can earn again. What should I do with the money? How about treating people to movies or eat at expensive restaurant so I can spent my money till $0 dollars? Oh well.. Oh I just get myself a new guitar. That will do. The rest of my money,I give it to my mum then.
And not forgetting...
Happy anniversary to my dear nat and also seri and hafiz!! May you both last long so I can call seri aunty!!! Ahahaha!
Okie I'm fucking bored. I want to go play pool or karaoke. Anyone want to join me? FUCK IT!
+ Dracula as a husband. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Friday, February 6, 2009
11:26 PM
What the fuck?
Have you got any balls? This really pissed me off. You use to chat with me nicely and now giving me shit? Boy I'm not a child anymore. Whatever shit you've said,I understand. In condition whether you favour them then you'll smile? Fuck it. What wrong did I just do to you? For all I knew there's nothing! The last we chatted in a friendly manner was 3 months back. And now,you talking shit to me. Hey,like you said,what past is past. Why can't we just be friends' right now? You're the most snobbish ex-boyfriend I've ever had! Muker jekk lawa tpi prangai sundalans. If you ever enter my blog and read this shit,then I must say,tak perlu ah.
But then,I still remeber. You're the first though to give me gifts during Valentine's. For all I knew,I've never celebrated Valentine's. I hate Valentine's. The little yellow bear and a fake rose. Ahaha! What's the use reminiscing the old days' when you're acting cold towards me. Grow up 17 turning 18 boy!
+ And I want to watch love movie. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
8:04 AM
Sweet at first tase,sour after flavour.
I'm fucking pissed off with what actually happen yesterday. I hate people putting words in my mouth and acusing me something that has got nothing to do with my motive. Kemaruk sial aku kene. Tak sakit hati?
If don't want to meet,just say. Kemaruk? If you find it wrong to show off you around,then fine I'll stop. There's no point for me to give you hints to what I actually deemed for when you keep misunderstanding it. Fuck it. Useless I must say. If you ask me to speak up,then I'll say forget it. It'll just hurt more.
And I apologise to Aisyah and Faeza who is expecting me to come tomorrow for dinner. I don't really have the mood to go out and the time is not stable. Firstly,my school ends at 5pm and if I get go out,I need to reach home by 9pm. Sick ain't it? Fuck la. Seriously I've no mood at all.
Any plans on Saturday? I want to go out. Maybe I shall go back to my old workplace and slack there. Or just slack at park? I don't know la. Fuck la.
+ No point hinting when his blind. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
8:44 PM
Phantom of the toilet.
That is a random picture of me and my sis taken. And I got white and shiny teeth! Today was quite a fucked up day for me. I don't know why I feel so irritated and angry at almost everything. Luckily there's Danial,Yunus,Jay Chou,Rusydi and the 2 fuckers make me smile. And I almost punch Fariq's face. His fucking fuck to the core.
What 'causes me to be this way? I wonder. And now I'm pissed. And I really feel like biting someone. I'm going for another piercing at my ear and so getting myself a ring and a necklace.
+ Assure me with what you've got. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
7:51 PM
Andai ku bisa capai awan
akan ku petik bintang untukmu
Andai ku bisa nyatakan erti cinta
akan ku tunjuk cinta itu pada mu
Walaupun engkau bukan
Mimpi indahku
Engkau tetap
Indah di hidupku
+ + +
Maniac fuckers.
My day was filled with craps. Atleast,my schoolmates made my day ok. And I'm sick looking at my class advisor also known as form teacher face everyday,every single hours in school. And she just love calling my name. What a sick nyonya!
I love my dear Nat.. He's almost my everything.
+ Pray I'll stay strong. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, February 2, 2009
10:47 PM
The hearts of diamonds.
-XLR Camera,snapping every memories -Acoustic guitar,music is beautiful -New laptop for me to access every shit of my account -A pair of denim and black jeans,too pathetic to only own A skinny jeans -More above knee dresses,lady like rather than too simple -Black lipgloss oh so lovely -Necklace to put on -A beautiful ring that suits my skin -Earings,so I can cover up the little holes at my ear -Bags that suits my clothing
Just being random. I'm bored as always. Boyfriends is sleeping his ass off. Those are the things I want. But I know,this will take me more than a year by saving up to get those shits. And I'm not being materialistic. Its just a random piece of shit. Oh I'm bored-less shit.
The light that caughts my eye Showed me a prodigy A prodigy where my love ones die In such tragedy
Candles all around her Showing your love with a gift Tears of happiness Joy for love.
+ Random shit shit kambing biri biri shit! +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
11:32 PM
Trust me. She'll love it.
I've a theif to catch. A bag full of Pilot pen is gone and so those the China handphone. It went missing after the "kenduri" held at my house last year. And many suspect it was my cousin. Bloody fuck. Stupid. Bleargghhh..
And so.. I've bought a new black skirt and hair clips to keep my hair nicer. And I miss my workplace.
It seems that I have nothing much to post about nowadays.. And currently,I'm helping stokin to plan something special,that I myself melted when explaining things to him.. Perkara yang tak perlu seyy.
