> My unseen sins

~~Friday, January 30, 2009~~

11:19 PM

There's "insects" in my house.

Weird ain't it? Well,my mum is like making me to grow fatter. Yesterday,dad treat us to Sarpino's pizza and today mum treat us to MacDonald's today. Ahaha! So,I just ate fries and nuggets. I don't want to gain another kilo! Bleargghhh..

Okie.. Dad is nagging about my room in a mess. And blame that my room is the attraction of these "insects". Nyahaha! Though these "insects" always disturb me every night,I'm like used to it 'cause its my house. Ahaha!!!

Darling,I've braids!!

+ Oh irritating "insects". +

.I Wrote This Shit.

4:07 PM

Never let her wait for you..

At the beginning of the day,it was perfectly fine. I was excited to meet my girlfriends'. We talk about our school and the teachers'. We had cup noodles and some snack. And end our meeting with stupid and lame jokes.

Planned to tune my guitar but was canceled. Too calculative about the distance. Finally,I made up my mind just to forget about my fucking guitar. I'll just buy a new strings and have it fix with someone who won't be calculative enough that can pissed me off. Though I complain,I expect something that can make it up. Eventhough I did it sincerely.

I know. Once you said,lets' be different from others'. But sometime,its too much that irks me alot. Its good enough I'm not like other bitch who is pampered and demand something more that what I want. Just fuck it.

And my mood right now makes me want to write down all my emotions and thought on the white,wide wall.

+ Forbidden Romance. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Thursday, January 29, 2009~~

8:44 PM

Will you be mine?

I'm so excited for tomorrow! I'll be having lunch with my dearest,dearest,loveliest Alfairah!!! Yaye!!! Ahahaha! Can't wait!

So yeah. My day was filled with craps. And my teacher ask me to be a cheerleader for the Telematch next week plus asked me to join the BridgeLeader as my another CCA. My god. I've two CCA already. Ahaha! And my teacher is helping out to open a new CCA. And that is Cheerleading!! Yaye! ITE East students',I need your support. Whoever you are,I don't mind. Just need your support. Ehehehe..

+ Pizza time! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Wednesday, January 28, 2009~~

11:40 PM

Yawn..

I'm bored. My eyes are sleepy. I miss many people. I had my laughter at school. I finally get along well with my friends' which includes the crazy-ness side of me. I'm getting bored having guys approaching at school. I need to buy polo-t and black skirt. I need money. I need a full massage. I want to try the brain massage that was recommended by Kelly. I miss Beng,for no reason. Stupid la. I met Mr Peh and I miss him. I need my bf..

My dear,come and sleep with me.. Caress me and put me to sleep. I love you..

+ What a day. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Monday, January 26, 2009~~

8:55 PM

Screwed holiday.

I've yet to know what will happen tomorrow. Is it going to be fucked up again or maybe just fine? Whatever. Still,it irks me much.

3 days' 2 nights' at Pasir Ris Costa Sand Resort. It was fun at the beginning but the after effect is so fucked.

First night,went to Ehub to play pool and bowling but in the end was canceled due to a long waiting list. So went around at the arcade place and played some game. But it was fucked up before playing any games.

Second day,went swimming at 2pm till 4pm. And I met Nadia la seyy at Ehub! Ahahaha! And at night,planned to go nightwalk. Canceled again. Due to the tired-ness after playing pool and bowling. Ended up playing karem at one corner.

And my happy mood stays only for a few minutes. No regards of thank you nor goodbye was passed before going off. Yet say lain kali jangan lagau. What the fuck? Trying to spent the night with a smile,telling that this is something rather than nothing. Seldom,yet this. Tak paham? That's fine with me.

+ Eventhough I miss kitty,I bite kitty real hard to vent my anger off. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Friday, January 23, 2009~~

5:58 PM

A message from your teapot.

I'm bored. I'm tired. And tomorrow,is my family chalet!!! Yaye!!!

Valentine's Day is around the corner. So does my 19th monthsary. Ehehehe.. I've planned and I'm almost done. I've put aside a few sum of money. Lalalala...

I had the weirdest dream ever. Though it's sweet and romantic,but still,what the hell? Fuck it.

Faeza,Ummairah,Khaleeda,we have yet to meet up and have lunch together! Miss you girls' badly okayy?

+ Fallen eyes. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Thursday, January 22, 2009~~

7:47 PM

I never did ask to be this way when I'm born.

I do realise I'm fat. But please,I am working out to kill these fats that is so stubborn to go away. If only I have millions of dollars,I would go for an operation and ask to take away my fats. Fucked.

My day was filled with stupid laughter. Thanks to Aaron,his horny jokes really gives a heart pain. But still,nothing is mmuch more fun without having my girls around. And bf tortured me. Oh anyway.. I miss that damn fucking butter cookies laa!!! Anyone,anybody get it for me atleast 1 will do and I will give you a big hug!!! Ehehehe..

Should I join with Aaron and Larry? I'll just talk through with them first then..

+ Its not the end yet. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Tuesday, January 20, 2009~~

9:00 PM

"Don't go. Please stay."

Ahaaha! I watch that indonesia drama and it touches my heart badly that I burst to tears! Nyahahaha!!! Sad ok! The guy and the lady was in love but the guy didn't know the lady do love her. But the lady knew but thought that the guy knew about her feelings'. Eventually,the guy made up his decision to get engage with this bitch that has frame him and the lady. Yada yada.. Danis love for Suci was so strong that he cried! And Bayu has to be selfish 'cause he love Suci so much that he didn't wish to lose her. Waliow! And Cinta Fitri 2 is coming out soon at Sensasi. Can't wait to see that charming face of Teuku Wisnu!!! Weeeeeeeeeee!!!

I've fallen deep to fantasy.

I feel like crying under the rain. Miss that atmosphere. Cry everything out. The pain,the anger,everything! I miss my smoking bitches in school. They called me up and I really miss them that there's a tear rolled down my fat cheeks! Ashamed though 'cause my guy friends' actually tried to console me. I really miss them. I went to the school toilet alone,no company. Well,there's nobody when I was there. I thought of smoking off a stick then I remembered my smoking friends' in secondary school. Aww.. I miss them so much! And I miss art.. I miss drawing something nice and asked the teacher for opinion. But somehow,I felt so lonely. And there's no one to help when I'm facing a major problem. I'm dumb though. But again,I miss every love I had from my true friends'. And I've yet to meet up Mr Peh and Mdm Chew. I really want to thank them for their hardwork and standing up for me whenever I fail that particular subject. Especially Mr Peh! Since sec 3,I never pass my Science untill my N'level result. Haish..

+ I need assurance to keep my heart intact. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Sunday, January 18, 2009~~

10:10 PM

There's a spin in my head.

My day was filled with enjoyment,irritating-ness and also a big headache that 'cause me to vomit each time I stand and walk.

Bf bring me to cycling at a place like a forest where you can cycle around,dirt biking place it is. It was fun though. He cycled me through the cycling jungle and walk for awhile to enjoy the scary scenery. And I was watching out for any lizard passing by. Eeeeewwwwww! After which I had shisha with bf. Like duh,he own a shisha already. I don't know why after smoking shisha,it makes me dizzy and feel like vomitting. I hardly want to walk. I feeling in my head really irks me. It spins like the washing machine on dry spin. Fuck indeed.

Reach home,I just lay on my sofa and dooze off. Slept for 2-3 hours. Can't stand it. Mum asked why,and I just said I'm not well. Woke up,the spin stays. So I went to the toilet and vomitted just slimy water. Ate a few spoonful of rice and vomitted. So I evetually ate 4 pills of panadol and watch the indonesia drama. And the spin still stays.

I asked my dad where's my acoustic guitar which he has promised after I passed my N'level result. And that old man just told I need to pass my course first than I can get one. Fuck ain't it? I have yet to thank Mdm Chew and Mr Peh for their hard work in teaching and I eventually passed with good marks. From ungraded to 4/5. What an acheivement! Ok I'm proud of myself. And I just remembered. Bf did promise me something about having me to pass my Maths with a grade 5. I can't recall what he promised me. Nevermind. He owes me then.

Tomorrow school. Bleargghhh... Nevermind. They make me smile too though despite me being just the only girl. Oh well.. Another day in school.

+ I think I'm in love with bikes sia! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Saturday, January 17, 2009~~

11:52 PM

Lick my tears dry.

And I had a secondhand keyboard at home. I want an acoustic guitar! Bleargghhh... So today.. I went to my auntie's house to celebrate her daughter birthday and her newborn baby. And I held the baby. Aww.. I really love babies. And a guy talked to me and keep asking if I love babies and such. What a question. The best thing he said is "You can be a great mum and a great wife for me." And I go what the fuck? I walked off and sat next to my mum. Haha! Scary ok?

I watched Suci,the indonesia drama. Oh I'm loving Danis and Bayu. They are like super sweet,romantic and oh gorgeous!!! And that girl get to hug BOTH gorgeous during the show! Ehk I also want to hug them seyyy!!!! And having them to give flowers and making me feel secure.. Ahahaha! Such fantasy. I just fall for those two gorgeous man.

Is your birthday on 19th February and your's on 3rd October? Oh I really hope I'm right. Are you still using the same number? How come I see you both rarely online? Ahahaha! Thought of having an ex reunion party! Ahaha! Dumb. And I wonder.. If that particular person still waiting for me? Still expecting that second chance? And would my bf hold me back? Ahaha! Dream on! Never la sial! Not going to hope for it. 'Cause whatever happen,I'm the one have to hold back and relax. I'm going crazy.

+ Anyone arsehole has the shape of anarchy or star or a flower? I bet star have the shape star. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Friday, January 16, 2009~~

6:35 PM

Cry alone.

My dad really makes me fucked up. I don't understand why? Why?! For goodness sake why you fucking arsehole father?! You complained to mum that I never did seek any permission from you when I wanted to go out and you said I didn't respect you as a father. And so I seek that honourably permission of yours that I wanted to go out with Faeza and there you said no straight in my face! What do you think I am? Your dog? Though I'm your child,I still need that freedom okie? Don't you still get it? You never did want to listen to my explanation. Yet you scold me as if I'm just your fucking doll.

This really hurts badly. Yet,I have two person I need to please. My bf,my dad. One would say rebel,one would say don't you dare. My say,just shut the fucked up and let me hear my own mind. But then,I'm grateful enough that my bf tried to make me smile. Eventhough he knew I failed to be a good gf. I'm really sorry dear for no trying to please you. I've no balls to do what was told. I'm sorry. But then dear,I'm never sorry for loving you. You are the greatest gift I ever had in my teenage life. And I swearly thanked god for rewarding me,you. You're my cure to my illness. You're my drugs to my smile. You're my tears for the love we build.

+ Dad,please? Ps: I love you. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

2:10 PM

Get off my chest.

I want to apologise to my dearest friends' Faeza,Ummairah and Khaleeda that I can't make it to go out lunch with you babes today. Thanks to my mum! Blearrgghhhh... Though I can meet Faeza anytime,I still the other two girls'. The talkative and loud and the quiet yet a laughing gas. Ahahaha!!! I really miss having them in class.

I swear my morning really given me a heart ache. I watch Mohabatein followed by Lion King 2. Then I cooked for myself maggie,tom yum flavour and smoke my anger off with another stick of mine. Now I left 1 for bf. If not,I'm screwed!

I watched this typical Indonesia drama. It's so romantic that I actually fell in love with the guy named Bayu and Danis. Sweet yet handsome! Aww.. If only they are my bf.... Ahahaha! As if laa...

I hate Mens! You know what I mean ladies'.. Shisha please!!! Nadia oi!!! Lyza oi!!! Aku tgh mengidam shisha nie!! Kate nk blanje!!! Ahahaha!!!

+ Someone paitau me. Eat that person up and make me more fat! Fuck! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

9:30 AM

I won't see you tonight.

I love that song. The only song that can calm my mind,my heart. I'm very angry and dissapointed though. Planned to go jogging. Canceled. Plan to watch movie. Canceled due to no good movie or its already out two weeks' before today. Planned to smoke shisha,change to afternoon after knowing maybe I'm going out with Faeza. What the fuck?? I'm fucking irritated. I'm so stopping to plan things. I hate after planning than its either that particular person is tired,lazy or their day,time was occupied with something else. I should have gone to school for goodness sake! What a fucking regret la sial!

So,I spent my mornings by sending Faeza off to school. I miss her badly.. Then slack alone at I don't know which void deck for 30mins. At home,watch this stupid movie and played games. And I'm dead bored la! I'm going to cancel everything today. I'm lazy already. Too bad for anyone who had plan some things with me today okie?

I left two sticks' and I can't smoke it now. Need to save incase I meet bf. So ya. No ciggies,no entertainment. No food! Fuck laa...

+ Irritated. Envy. Miss. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Thursday, January 15, 2009~~

10:11 PM

Calculative.

Why being so calculative when you know its a part of your job anyway? Bleargghhhh... FORGET IT! I just heard a story from Ridhwan what happen at their school,my ex school,during their PE,I guess. He told Ashraf actually said "Where's Khairiyah?". Ahahaha! Its glad to know that they still remember me and yeah I'm sad that I can't join them during school hours. Seriously,it is really,really sad. I really miss them. All of my friends' despite this one particular person that I abhor alot.

Today,school was quite fun for me. I actually showed them how crazy I can be. Well,I'm just bored and wanted to have a good laugh at anything. And so,me and Rusydi joke as if we don't care. And we even share our dirty secret. Nyahahaha! Irritating guy. Nyeh!

I'm sending Faeza off to school tomorrow!! Yaye!!! And just maybe I'm having shisha with bf!!! Yaye!!! Fun la sia! I'm so not going for a 2hours class tomorrow.. And sorry my dearest classmate I won't be there supporting you guys at the Telematch. Best of luck sweet ones plus fucker ones!

+ A bouquet with fat burner cream. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Wednesday, January 14, 2009~~

10:41 PM

NV.

I saw him. I saw her. I saw him and her. Fuck. I don't know why. I don't feel quite right. I miss my friends' so much that I tend to vent my anger anywhere without thinking. I really miss laughing till tears roll down the bumpy ride or having a stomach cramps after having a good laugh for a few minutes. I really miss that. When I'm unhappy,I would make things that can make him angry. I miss being hyper and such. Most likely,I would call myself a monkey. Hyper and cheeky. When they are angry,unhappy or didn't get what they want,they either go berserk,jump around in anger or solitare themself with watery eyes and put on their ugly side. When they are happy,they would likely to be more lovely with anyone around him. I hate being scolded. I hate being shouted at. I swear I won't listen. I swear it will never be a lesson learnt for me. I prefer people approach me in a nicer and polite way. Then I would likely to listen and take that advise. Oh well..

Frozen in time
So lovely and sweet
Trying to convey message like the mime
I would rather sleep then tweep.

+ A bouquet of red roses at my doorstep. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Tuesday, January 13, 2009~~

10:30 PM

I want to burn the fats!

And I received a message that says "I got shisha at home". Fuck or what?! This really makes me envy and really don't wish to talk to him! Heart pain sia. Rich or what fuck? This really pissed me off for a stupid reason ehk..

Okie. Me n Di planned to go jogging and gym together starting this Friday. But he can't make it so I'm making the moves first. I'm so excited to lose the fats in my body!!! I've planned out. Jogging,gym and cycling. I'm so doing it!!! I'm so killing the fats! I'm so seeing bf on that so called "small carpet"! Ehehehe.. Okie fuck. The shisha thingy makes me angry again. Seriously. Fuck envy. Fuck the rich! Show off! Fucking show off you moron!!!

+ He makes me wanna kill him! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

9:08 PM

Butterflies.

I'm getting lazy each and everyday to go to school. I really miss having Faeza,Khaleeda and Ummairah around in class. Its a total boredom being the only Malay girl among the Malay guys. I don't really mix around with Chinese girls'. 'Cause I find them bitchy or nerdy. But only my secondary school Chinese girls' are the best from the ones I knew. I really miss smoking in the toilets' with my girl smoker's in EV. I miss having Faeza fixing my hair and school attire. Ahaha! I really miss talking craps,bitch and compliment people with her. I really miss her..

I'm looking forward for this Sunday for shisha with Nadia,Lyza and Faeza. Hope you three can make it okeh? Do text me to confirm. Faeza,don't worry. We won't force you to try it. Eheheh..

Though I roughly get what you mean,but it still hurts.

Yesterday,I almost spent my whole day with my bf. Got his Maths O'level results. So does the whole O'level student. The one that repeated for their O'levels got 7points. And my cousin Fir got a total of 30 points. Hahaha! Rabak seyy... Its so scary. I wonder how my dear friend's who is sitting for their O'levels this year will do. Best of luck dudes and dudettes!

+ You spit your fire that burns my heart. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Sunday, January 11, 2009~~

10:47 PM

Fuck you jerk.

Don't try me fucker. You talk,you flirt as if I'm dumb. I'm not incoherent you fucker. Its fine with me that you want to go to class with me but please,no begging or trying to please me. Have you forgotten? I've a boyfriend! This irritates me alot. Keep texting me things that doesn't bother's you. Its fine if you need my help about your relationship. Yet you repeat that you wanted to break up with her despite me telling you its going to be a waste. Who's flirting right now? No wonder your girlfriend doesn't even trust you. You deserve to be left though or either way being a philanderer. Ass! It's so wrong to exchange number with you just because of school stuff. Wrong friend! Oh yea. You don't even do your work. You expect to copy from me. Damn. I can't imagine having you as my project partner. I'll fail badly! Great one ell.

But whatever shit it is. Whatever moves you tried to win me,still you'll lose. Sugary words won' work nor gifts. Only one guy knows best of me,my dear boyfriend Nat!!! So proud having him as my boyfriend. In hopes and dreams,we will last together till ever. But just being prepared for all worst in times' to come. I love you dearest Nat!

+ Opps! I did it again! +

.I Wrote This Shit.

9:04 PM

To earn.

I'm selling my clothes soon. Those which I used once,twice. Its gaoing to be cheap though. Anybody wants to join hand with me? You can sell yours too. And make a profit out of it. :]

I just bought a Aubergine hair dye colour. Woooooo!!!! And I don't feel like going school tomorrow. Just sick and tired. But not yet made up my mind. I need to talk with bf first. If not.. The balloon will burst! Ok lame.

I miss my workplace. Farhana even asked me to come down there today. Aww... I really miss making a perfect cup of coffee for the customer and seeing them smile after drinking it. Oh I miss it.

+ Just me and you. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

3:30 PM

Money IS Evil!

I totally abhor my parents childish and selfish attitude. Mum is talking on the phone blabbering about some bitchy stories while Dad is doing his new brand laptop. What the fuck? Where's the family quality together we used to had? What's this? If you blame me that I keep going out. I went out to relive my stress. My pain,my anger. I can't even vent my anger on their stupid young ones. Yada yada.. Their most respectful,lovely boy. Fuck ah sia!!! I'm a human. I still have feelings. I do still have my dignity and most of all,I'm born with their flesh and blood. It really hurts alot.

I've quitted my job,just for you. I took up Electronics as my course even though I've no interest in it,just for you. You don't even allow me to make music as a part of my hobby. I respect you,I don't talk back,just because you're my dad. Now you blame mum that I'm pampered. I go out without asking your permission. But what's the use? You will never allow me. My dear dad,I never blamed you nor look down on you when you told stories of your regretful teenage life. But you are treating me this way? Do you even know you gave less attention on me? When I was young,you really took good care of me. When I've bruises,you go find that particular child who bullied me. Now I've grown up. My bf taught me how to defend myself. The moves and such. Though I smoke,it all started from you. You smoke too. Not just that. I was too stress that I tried smoking and it really relieves me. All bacause of you. You know why I love sticking too my bf? Because I love to be loved by a guy. My bf is like my father,my husband. He showed reality. But you showed me how's life being trapped. I look at my younger cousin's. They got the chance to went out at night 'till 2am with her friends'. You blame their father for not taking good care of them. Who is spoilt now? Me? Or them? I tried comparing me with her. I'm worst then her. She didn't smoke. She got all the freedom. I smoke. I'm insane. I've no freedom at all. Do you know how it feels? Many said maybe when I'm 18,you would be more understanding. But what happens if you're still the same? When I do my prayers,you are busy with your laptop. Doing I don't know what the hell it is. Porn,maybe. Though I understand its normal for guys. Let me make shame for you here. Let me embarass you here. I found a couple of porno CD on my little brothers' cupboard. What the fuck? You should know that when I'm getting old year by year,I would browse around my house to find my old stuff. Its a big shame ok to see that?

Financial. You gave mum 800 dollars out of 1.2K. Minus off,you had 400 dollars. Last month. You got your bonus. Mum told me. You earn 6K out of it. But now,where has the money gone too? You asked mum to pay the bills when you only give a few K's for it. Do you think its enough? When mum used the money for the house facility,bills and daily food. Issit enough? I roughly figure that you spent atleast 2.5K for all of us 5 school stuff. How about the balance? I asked you to pay me back the school skirt I bought and to alter it. Yet you asked me to get the money from mum when mum wanted to borrow my work pay. What the fuck? My pay doesn't even reach 500 dollars. And now both of them are quarelling about money. And saying I'm selfish for not giving any money to them. I'm just a part-time worker. I've quit the job that I enjoy so much just because you told me so. Now you are asking me money. When I asked you to buy for me shampoo and facial wash plus top up my card,you nagged the whole day saying you had not enough money. Complain that your pay is not enough. Than what the hell you're doing when you had sex with mum and having the 5 of us in this 4-room HDB flat? Have you ever thought of it? You're just a delivery driver that earns just enough to feed the total of 7. I've understand enough of your past and your current attitude. But please.. Change. I want to see change in this family. And mum,please.. Don't be stubborn. You never listen to my advise and you expect me to listen your advise. I'd enough of crying the whole night to hear you both quarrel. I'm the eldest. And I do feel I'm responsible to certain things. But you both never did give me the chance to let me be an adult. A mature teenage girl. Why?

+ A challenge in 2009. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Saturday, January 10, 2009~~

10:14 AM

No heart is ever pure.

Today will be my last day at work. Don't think I'm not sad at all. I'm happy working there. With the new friends I've made. And having to taste great coffees. I just don't understand why my dad have to do this to me. I love to work while schooling. Even though it will tires me out. I do want earn my own money. I don't think I'm still a kindergarten kid to ask should I go to the zoo or Sentosa for class outing. My mind and heart hurts,badly.

Even though you had given me lots of advise,but please,you're not my husband. I appreciate it alot that you tried to give me the best of you and tried to help me out to save my job,but nothing will ever work. You're not my father. And I'm still under my dad's responsibility. I've yet to reach 18,then I'm free. No one will understand my situation. Its not easy to be a girl. The eldest among the five. My parents expect from me alot. And again,I don't wish to here any talks about this matter anymore. It hurts. Early morning you spoke about this. You've made tears for me. Thanks alot.

Pabila ku dapat merasakan kesyukurannya
Kini ku rasa ku hilang cintanya
Apakah ini buat kebahagiaan ku
Atau hanya mencabar kesabaranku
Tiada jawapan bagi apa yang berlaku

Sorry for the malay poem. I'm just sick.

+ I'd rather walked alone.. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Thursday, January 8, 2009~~

7:50 PM

Just so sick at heart.

Eventhough school was fine,but to know plans that was made yesterday was canceled really irks me to the core. I was really looking forward for this Sunday. I planned out what time is the best to go. And yeah.. You're just lazy. Great.

The next thing that irks me. The skirt thingy. No one has any black skirt to lend me. Neither the school has it. Out of stock and have to wait till April. Fuck or what? Serious shit. Blue skirt really doesn't suit me. Expect EVSS uniform. Fuck to the core! Really makes me pissed off.

I just don't know why just because of a plan,I get so pissed off. Well,I was so looking forward for it. But then,fuck. It was canceled. Oh well.. Anyone wants to accompany me to gym instead on Sunday? Do give me a call by Saturday. If not,then just fucking forget it. Let me just be a bummer watching tv and eat all day long. Blearrgggghhhh...

+ Its just so sick of plans when canceled. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Wednesday, January 7, 2009~~

9:47 PM

Eat my shits dollies!

School was much more fine then the last two days'. Me and Pakistani (Fariq) made more friends'. Thanks to my loud voice ok abang fierce? So,we got to know Ardillah (a guy with a rare name,Javanese),irritating Farouk,dummy Faiz,Rusydi matrep and Yunos the mute. Okie sorry. I just knew them and I've been giving them names. The time we got to know each other,they have shown their true colour. Darn ass!

The course I took indeed a real headache. Its not easy as what we learn during Physics and Maths. That's the only thing we're studying for the whole semester,term,year maybe. There's also Physical Education. And so.. My CCA will be the Guitar Club and Fitness. Wooohoooo! Ahahahaha!!!

Not forgetting..

Happy 1year 6months Anniversary my dear Nat! Sorry I mengigau malam tu.. Tunggu time sampai tertido okeh? Love you so much la! And.. Deal and done aytes dear? Ehehehehe...

Oh good gracious. Tomorrow class starts at 12pm. Great or what?!?!! Ahahaha! Good luck my dear friends' who is sitting for O'levels. Miss you all..

+ ITE isn't that bad afterall. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Tuesday, January 6, 2009~~

5:59 PM

I abhor.

Why must he make decision for me? Can't I choose my decision myself? I want to work while schooling. I want to earn for my own necessities. I do want to experience how tiring it is when schooling while working. I wish to venture the adult world. Earn for a living. You even asked me to take Electronics. Eventhough I'm not really interested in this course. I wanted to take the design's courses. But you keep telling me that there's no future if I took that course. I listened to you. I even took up the courses half heartedly. But I can't be much more sad when you asked me to resign the job that I'm happy with. You're fucking selfish dad!!!!

It hurts too much. To this particular person,if you lecture about this despite consoling me,I'm sorry. I don't think I would like to listen to your words. Even you are right,but you aren't in this situation. You would never understand.

+ I've made a big mess. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Monday, January 5, 2009~~

6:29 PM

oh i totally forgot. someone actually doesn't want to introduce me to his/her friends. or either way asked me to stay out in a way his/her friend won't see me. malu kepe sial?? ke ader side story aku tk tau ah? fuck ehk kau!

+ really makes me wonder alright? +

.I Wrote This Shit.

6:04 PM

Taste my blood honey.

School was fine. Its abit scary though. I was so nervous when entering the school. Many eyes were staring. But then,its fine overall. I only made 2 friends out of the tens of students in my class. But more close and comfortable with this Pakistani guy. He is good looking though and loves to talk nonsense. Nyah! Another friend was from Woodlands and he doesn't talk much. Mendak! I was the only Malay girl with 3 other Chinese girls. One looks like ah lian and the other two is like from Metta School?? Ok I'm judging people at first sight. Sigh.. Just judging. Not yet made the final judgement. Nyahahaha!

Nashrun sombong laa seyy!!!

I'm tired. For I don't know what's the 'cause of it. I want to meet my girlfriends' tomorrow before going off to school!!! And I actually bought Singapore cigarettes? Expensive la siow!

And taking the stairs to 6th storey really tires me out.

+ Let me sing you a lullaby. +

.I Wrote This Shit.

~~Saturday, January 3, 2009~~

11:48 AM

.I Wrote This Shit.