> My unseen sins

~~Monday, December 15, 2008~~

11:53 PM

The voices in my head.

Somehow,I actually remembered all the guys that I use to be in love and contact with. I'm a total bitch back then. One after another.

My relationship life started when I was like,Sec 1?? With my round spectacle and those fats all over my body. How did I ever won this particular person? I have no idea. His name is Zahri,from Telok Kurau Sec. Same age as me though. The next was a guy named Faim. His a very weird person. I never did met him. We got to know online. Its like,fucking weird. Both,ended due to I'm disgusted by mushy stuff. Ahahaha! Stupid.

Then came the boys in my school. There's Ikmal. Lasted for a month but never meet nor talk before. What the hell? We ended up just because of that. What am I thinking back then?

There came the "abang2" in my school. I was in cheerleading and we're having practice in the school hall together with the sepak takraw boys. I was in Sec 2 back then. Oh cheerleading days... Ok. There's a particular guy name Hafiz,well known as Hafiz Gig,asked my number through his best friend,which is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend,Nadirah. We talk on the phone for hours. Somtime till the sunrise. His manly voice would then sing for me wonderful songs. "Jiwang" ah. Ahahah! We got together for less than a month if I could recall. 'Cause I got rumours that his fooling around with me and using me. Some sort of that. Again,I asked for an end.

The next was Hafi! Well known as Hafi Kemek. Got to know him during sports day. I was sitting at a corner before/after the cheerleading performance with my friends and I actually staring at him. I found him quite attractive. And I make a move by talking to him and disturbing him around. Took his number without him knowing and praked call him. He caught me eventually. Days pass and we got together. Lasted for a month and he asked for an end. His friend,Sallimi,consoled me...

Which then,I contacted with Sallimi....

His my second longest relationship I had with and his the first to taught me to be serious in relationship. There's alot to tell about about this guy here but forget it. I just tell why we end.

We have lasted for 6 months and we wasted it. He ended this relationship. Why? He said that he was ashamed when his parents were asking why I was crying that particular night. For some reason. So,the same night,he asked for it. Cried for almost a month.

Was working at First Lady,the Malay traditional clothing shop. And got to know this butch named Lela,well known as Dee. Was wondering what are the girls thinking when they were with the butch so I accept her. Lasted for 3 weeks. I felt disgusted. I'm straight. Even though she's fucking sweet and understanding. But the fact is,I still love dicks. Guys,I mean.

It all happen in just one year. The year of 2006. So much tragedy. So much fun. Those childish times.

And when I'm in Sec 3,I was with Hadi. Oh wait. I was with Hadi since December,2006,if I'm not wrong and ended on February 2007. His a sweet guy. But then,I sort of used him. I'm a bitch. Told you. I was having my vengeance when I realise,I took it on the wrong guy. Then,Abdullah Nashrun was a way out.

Abdullah Nashrun,well known as Dol. His the hottest guy,in my eye. Everytime he walked pass by me,I would melt. I was shy too when my old best friend wanted to give me his MSN. Got to know him through there and lasted for only 1 month. Why? I cut my hair and I look gruesome. And the another thing is that he got to know this particular girl through Friendster.

Heartache. Regret. Dumb.

Had a 3 months break. No guys. No boyfriends. I can be almost like a butch. I almost fall in love with a girl. Until,this short guy left me a message at Friendster. I rarely see him in school. His like the shadow that hardly be seen. I left my number 'cause I'm lazy to go online. We text. We chat. He open up my heart once again. His the one that people always bad mouth about him. His the one that many said his a bastard.

His the one that now I'm in love with..

My heroine.. Muhammad Taufik. Well know as Nat.

His the one that rescue me from every mistake that I almost fall for. In hopes and dreams,we could last more than years. But God knows best. We can never know where we end. And how...

+ There's more. But let me share it some other time. +

.I Wrote This Shit.