I received a news from my mum. A tragic happened to someone I knew 3 years ago. I got to know him through my father. His dad and my dad were friends' since young. I've longed to meet this particular person,who is friendly and funny. And of course,very naughty. I wanted to have a chat with him. To ask how's he been doing and how's life for him. His a year younger than me. And I hardly remember what's his name and his school place. But I know for sure he stayed at Bedok. Fair skin,quite tall when last seen,chubby and good looking. And the sad thing is I can't remember how he look. Really sad.. His gone. His no more in this world. I can't imagine how's life goes for his family and friends'. For I remember I dearly miss an old friend of mine,also a smoking friend in school. The name shall always remember.. To both friends' who's gone now,rest in peace. I miss you both though..
+ Shocking news. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
11:15 PM
Outing at Sentosa on 29/12/2008.
That day,shall always be remembered. Thanks for all the laughter,the jokes and games we shared and played. I really am going to miss you all. And to those sitting for O'levels next year.. Do study hard and good luck to everything that you're doing. It is such a big dissapointment that we have to be seperated. Especially me among my dear girlfriends' whom I trusted most and most probably rely on during the four crazy years' together. I'm sorry that I can't make it with you all. We will meet again my dear girlfriends'. You are the best friend's I ever met. Let the name Alfairah and also Blue Ladies be remembered and yeah.. Still strong together.
To those entering Ite Simei,hope we can meet there aytes? Do say hie or shout my name when you see me around okeh? 'Cause I will call your name out or say hie or whatever to those of my friends'. And to Samir,if you have piercing or tatoo,I won't call you my friend anymore! Ahahaha! Kidding boy.. Love you all!
+ It's just too emotional. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, December 29, 2008
12:57 AM
Let me have a taste of your blood.
Few more hours to picnic with 404! Can't wait! This is like my first time having a picnic with my friends'. And yeah.. I'm looking forward to next year trip to Genting Highlands again!! This time I'm going with my family and my cousin's from my dad's side. So excited!! Hopefully,the plan worked out.
Few more days',I'll be getting my pay. And the first thing I want to do with my money is having my hair trimmed and highlight it blue or maybe purple. Then go food indulgence with Alfairah. I' so going to miss them. Not forgetting. Next week,school re-open. And I'll be stepping in that school with the school uniform on 5th January. I'm fucking nervous!
Oh someone wants to be a bartender. Any recommendation to any pubs,clubs or whatever it is? Goodluck honey for getting that job. Not hinting,wishing the best. Smiles baby.. :]
Making sure evrything's alright I actually suck your blood To taste your sins,your lies Its a nightmare,a world of doom
+ Let me kill you fucker. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
12:32 AM
There's a bug in my head.
I'm having a real headache now! Okie I've planned to go to aunt's house to take the camera for Monday's outing with the 403 people. I'm so looking forward for it dudes and dudettes!
Oh yeah.. Not forgetting.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUR MUSYIRAH!! Hope you grow up into a good girl. Not like me keh little sister?
Hopefully.. Tomorrow I can drop to my workplace and meet Fir for awhile. Miss him la.. Ahahaha!! Oh yea.. Amalina won't be working with us anymore.. Sad. Now she can't disturb me anymore! Nyahahaha!!!
I really hate that two face bitch at my workplace. She speaks bad about other people but she herself doesn't realise that her big mouth really need to be stitch. No wonder Daniel hate her alot. Bleargghhhh...
Oh I'm nervous for ITE. Wish me luck friends'. And yeah.. I'm meeting my old enemy,Fareesh Khan! What the hell!!! Great one.
+ Get me a gun so I can make her silent. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Friday, December 26, 2008
11:49 PM
Fuck is the word for people who worsen my day.
Got a last minute cancel that tomorrow I don't have to work. What the fuck ah?!?!!! Thanks ah. Ok fine. I apologise to Hadi that I asked for a change. I did text you 3 fucking times. I didn't want to call due to want to save my prepaid. Now this. Its not a great thing not going to work. I wanted to go out tomorrow. I can't go for my religious class as I had a taste of alcohol,which isn't great at all. But the Breezer really taste good though. I really hope anyone would ask me out tomorrow for lunch or something sia! Just fucked!
Mum keeps nagging that I have to quit when I started school. This time,real big fuck! I've told her earlier I would want to continue working 'till next year and she even agrees on it. Now this?! She keep saying I have to focus more on my studies now. Its like,whatever la.. I know what I should do ok? Fuck la.. I told her the reason I want to continue working. And she said she can get for me free drinks and food there. But then what,less pocket money la! Apa lagi! Puki mak kau la sial! She doesn't even bother to think that I'm growing and obviously I'm a girl who loves to shop. I don't even have the taste of year end sale. Why? Mum keeping bragging about not having enough cash. Yet have the cheek to borrow money from a big company. Its not a small sum. Its $4,000. See that 3 zero there? Its thousands ok? More than what my dad earns. And the money,not for our used. Its for my aunt. She need to pay the outstanding bills and such. Too me,fuck off. If she have money to buy ciggies,alcohol and branded clothes,then why not for the bills? Eventually she could just save up right?
Not my day. I bet tomorrow will not be my day again! If that happens,don't expect me to give face to my younger siblings ah. Just fucked!
+ I feel like killing everyone who make me cry! +
.I Wrote This Shit.
8:25 PM
Eagles on my guard.
I've accepted the course that I'd apply at ITE Simei. I've applied for Electronics. Far way different to what I dreamed,wished for. I've always wanted to be a designer,flying over to numerous of countries to get a name,and having my design known by many. But soon,I'll be sitting infront of the computer doing things that my dad did eversince his 25 years old. It will be another new life of mine. The atmosphere will be different. The people around there. There will be more than thousands wondering around the campus. Not like those secondary schools. Atleast we knew each other due to having the same teacher,CCA's or sitting in the small canteen eating shits there. And I left a week before I step in the school and buy my books and new uniform. I'm so not wearing the cotton t-shirt. Its very uncomfortable.
And really hope,my relationship with my friends',my buddies and my boyfriend won't get affected. Especially my dear boyfriend. He can atleast take care of me there. Or just hire his friend to look after me or something. I don't wish to lose someone I love. And the name,Alfairah.. I really hope you girls would call me up once a month and sit at any food outlet and have lunch,breakfast or dinner together. I really hope that would happen. Any promises want to make? Or a deal or compromise things?? Anything my darling girlfriends'?
Not forgetting.. I have many friends' wanting to go to school with me! Ahahaha!!! But then,I still have boyfiee.. Hehehehe...
+ Random in my head. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
3:27 AM
Shooting star..
Let me just make a short brief before my dear call me back. Work was just fine. There's a slam and I'm paranoid. Things went smoothly after awhile. I actually had a two faces partner. What a bitch. Forget it. The sweetest thing in my store is,I got a card,a small card which I don't really know what its called from Budi!!! Awww.. So sweet of him. Miss having him in store. Hopefully he would come down to store and have a chat with him some day.
Alright. I just had some thoughts running in my head. Once,I ever wished to celebrate my one year anniversary with the particular person I'm with. But then,it has gone to waste. To think back,I just find it pointless. I just don't know why. Well,I've told many,if I ever have a relationship with anybody and reaches one year,I really would want to celebrate it. Taking pictures or something. Having it big or something that should be a wonderful memory. Now,since me and my dear is reaching 1 year 6 months,I just don't find it that should be looking forward to. For me,what I'm looking forward to is just having a fun,loving relationship with him. Though,hoping too,having an everlasting love. But well.. Hope for the best,prepare for the worst. That's what I've been reminding myself.
Things going well. I'm greatful for the things I've had.
+ With love and hopes. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
1:21 AM
Its jumble up.
Store meeting was fun. People went tipsy after drinking. Hadi and me,make it all except these 3 bitches,was thrown in the pool. All soaking wet and shivering cold. Great few hours.
I'm so going to miss my dear friends in East View Secondary School...
Faith. Belief. Hope. Trust.
I've set this things in my pot of soup. And I know its worth it. If the water absorb these things,I'm sure its worth it. Worth trying. It will turn out well. So what if other people said it taste like their mum's faeces? Really. If the people has good taste bud,and has good view,surely they won't look down on your soup. If it happens to taste a little bit wrong,they will give feedbacks to let you improve on your soup. Take those feedbacks as something you need to improve and make it taste much better. Don't take those as something that you really need o stop making soup and give up easily.
My dear,I love you. I miss you. Sleep with me tonight,pretty please....
+ Its a hint to those I've talk to. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
11:29 PM
Such luck after results.
I'm really cashless. I left 10 dollars to spent with my dear. We're watching Twilight!!! Yaye!!! Sorry dear for the postpone. I just had a bad day and busy with work. Sorry my dearest one...
My prepaid card now left with $1.20. Yes arh. Where to get money and top up my card??? I've been asking for line. I've always been using handphone just for my dear to call up and for me to text people,especially the important ones. Like work,parents and friends outing. But then again. This is already fucked up. My pay will be on the 7th January. Two weeks' from now. And I didn't get my pay for today's 'rewang' at cousin's wedding!!! Chibai clan! I can top up my card already sia if I have that money!
Just sick. I've been feeling this angry,sad and just feel like crying on anybody's shoulder. I just feel upset. I know,ITE isn't that bad. I can accept. But then again,I'm going to miss my girlfriend's badly.
Oh oh.. Thanks for consoling me my dear friend,Fir. Ahaha! Sorry la. I'm just quite fucked up these few days'. Meet you up at work soon! Take care ya Fir? Do eat your medicine if needed.
+ Let me just pour my tears over your head,please. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Friday, December 19, 2008
8:09 PM
All I want..
N'level is over. ITE is my next step. Great. But the best thing is I can meet my dear at school!! Yaye!!!
Work was so fucked up. I hate being at POS. Fuck big time. I hate it! I messed up alot.
I'm sorry my dear. I had to cancel today's plan. I've expecting it too. But somehow my work really is sick. I know. My work,you don't even care a single shit. I'm just stressed. Yet your words.. Thanks big time. I've made you this way. I've always make you this way right? Though,I just want you caress-ness. I just want your warmth hug. The hug that always make me calm. Then again,today's just not the day to smile.
I'm having a fever,if you don't know or notice. I haven't eat the whole day. No kidding. I''m weak. I need you. Not the water breakage. And you blog post,though whatever shit you've done,still you're the greatest guy. No doubt. If I were to think that you're a useless guy,I won't be trying so hard to save this relationship. I won't be with you right now. And I choose,to stay by your side. Nothing is perfect. But you are,in my blindness eye. I love you.
+ I'm just being emotional. I'm greatly sorry. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
6:19 PM
Adrenaline rush.
Its near. Its so near. I'm nervous. I can't wait to see my results. Even though I'm ready,prepared for the fucking worst. But still,I'm nervous.
The good side about tomorrow is that I can meet my friends,my bitches and jerks! Hooray!!!! I'm so going to hug them before stepping out of the damn school. I just so miss them alot. For four fucking years being in the same school with them. Talking craps. Ignoring the fucking school rules,argues with teachers,homeworks (for me at some area). Skipping class. Vandalising. Stealing.
What's going to happen next year,really depends after tomorrow. Whether I'll be in East View for another year,sitting for the next major exam. Or,ITE,a new school,friends,life,almost everything!
I'm anxious. Curious. Nervous. Sad. But,prepared.
Good luck to all the people who is taking their N'level results tomorrow! All the best. Hopefully we meet another year together,especially my classmates. Hope for the best,prepared for the worst.
+ Its going to be a big blast tomorrow! +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, December 15, 2008
11:53 PM
The voices in my head.
Somehow,I actually remembered all the guys that I use to be in love and contact with. I'm a total bitch back then. One after another.
My relationship life started when I was like,Sec 1?? With my round spectacle and those fats all over my body. How did I ever won this particular person? I have no idea. His name is Zahri,from Telok Kurau Sec. Same age as me though. The next was a guy named Faim. His a very weird person. I never did met him. We got to know online. Its like,fucking weird. Both,ended due to I'm disgusted by mushy stuff. Ahahaha! Stupid.
Then came the boys in my school. There's Ikmal. Lasted for a month but never meet nor talk before. What the hell? We ended up just because of that. What am I thinking back then?
There came the "abang2" in my school. I was in cheerleading and we're having practice in the school hall together with the sepak takraw boys. I was in Sec 2 back then. Oh cheerleading days... Ok. There's a particular guy name Hafiz,well known as Hafiz Gig,asked my number through his best friend,which is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend,Nadirah. We talk on the phone for hours. Somtime till the sunrise. His manly voice would then sing for me wonderful songs. "Jiwang" ah. Ahahah! We got together for less than a month if I could recall. 'Cause I got rumours that his fooling around with me and using me. Some sort of that. Again,I asked for an end.
The next was Hafi! Well known as Hafi Kemek. Got to know him during sports day. I was sitting at a corner before/after the cheerleading performance with my friends and I actually staring at him. I found him quite attractive. And I make a move by talking to him and disturbing him around. Took his number without him knowing and praked call him. He caught me eventually. Days pass and we got together. Lasted for a month and he asked for an end. His friend,Sallimi,consoled me...
Which then,I contacted with Sallimi....
His my second longest relationship I had with and his the first to taught me to be serious in relationship. There's alot to tell about about this guy here but forget it. I just tell why we end.
We have lasted for 6 months and we wasted it. He ended this relationship. Why? He said that he was ashamed when his parents were asking why I was crying that particular night. For some reason. So,the same night,he asked for it. Cried for almost a month.
Was working at First Lady,the Malay traditional clothing shop. And got to know this butch named Lela,well known as Dee. Was wondering what are the girls thinking when they were with the butch so I accept her. Lasted for 3 weeks. I felt disgusted. I'm straight. Even though she's fucking sweet and understanding. But the fact is,I still love dicks. Guys,I mean.
It all happen in just one year. The year of 2006. So much tragedy. So much fun. Those childish times.
And when I'm in Sec 3,I was with Hadi. Oh wait. I was with Hadi since December,2006,if I'm not wrong and ended on February 2007. His a sweet guy. But then,I sort of used him. I'm a bitch. Told you. I was having my vengeance when I realise,I took it on the wrong guy. Then,Abdullah Nashrun was a way out.
Abdullah Nashrun,well known as Dol. His the hottest guy,in my eye. Everytime he walked pass by me,I would melt. I was shy too when my old best friend wanted to give me his MSN. Got to know him through there and lasted for only 1 month. Why? I cut my hair and I look gruesome. And the another thing is that he got to know this particular girl through Friendster.
Heartache. Regret. Dumb.
Had a 3 months break. No guys. No boyfriends. I can be almost like a butch. I almost fall in love with a girl. Until,this short guy left me a message at Friendster. I rarely see him in school. His like the shadow that hardly be seen. I left my number 'cause I'm lazy to go online. We text. We chat. He open up my heart once again. His the one that people always bad mouth about him. His the one that many said his a bastard.
His the one that now I'm in love with..
My heroine.. Muhammad Taufik. Well know as Nat.
His the one that rescue me from every mistake that I almost fall for. In hopes and dreams,we could last more than years. But God knows best. We can never know where we end. And how...
+ There's more. But let me share it some other time. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
1:20 AM
Why? Why? WHY?!?
Why doesn't anyone bothers to console me when I'm down? Why must I get the insult? We girls fix ourself before fixing guys? You guys that makes us insane! Why does butch exist? Thanks to guys precisely. If you think I'm think childish-ly again,then fuck off! Don't read!
The main thing is I'm bored for the whole fucking day! No entertainment. Its not wrong to check my contacts,to me. But is it wrong to check on you? I don't go fuck people you're out with. So much for the word care! Why doesn't anyone understand me? Where's my bitch? Where's my best buddy?
I don't mind. Even if I care. Its your fucking life. I know. Hey,its just information okie? I don't ask for your pants colour and what you wear. I don't go asking around if its true you went out with them. Trust,trust,trust..
Who am I? People know me by the name,Khai. But they don't know who is Nur Khairiyah. You called me a crybaby. I'm glad you know me. But you hardly console me. I'm talking trash about you. I'm done telling people who is you. The one I've treasure dearly.
+ Please. I'm still a girl. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
11:30 PM
The word Mundane fits me best today.
I swore. There's nothing left for me to do. I need entertainment. Friends. I need them. Chatting online with them isn't as fun as laughing with them in a group. And I actually miss bitching around with the girls at school.
School. 4 more days and I'm stepping in the fucking school with my blue uniform. N'level result has reach the MOE department. Hey,I'm bored ok?
I was just asking your whereabouts. Not what colour of your underpants you wore when you went out. If you said,too much,sorry. Its just 1/4 of it. One bitten twice shy. Trust,trust,trust.. Betrayed once. Remember?
Ehk my blog is becoming much boring than ever. I wanted to change the blogskin but afraid my dear would feel unappreciated for his trouble upon my blog.
I want to watch something that is romantic,sad,emotional. Followed by something scary,haunted,screaming. I want shesha!
+ I feel like an idiot caring for others. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
3:22 PM
He whispered my love.
Such a mundane day today. I've nothing left to do except playing games,strumming the guitar,watching tv and ya.. Nothing much to do at all!
Thursday will be a blast for me! Result is soon out. I was talking to mum and telling her I'm so going to dye my hair reddish purple if I happen to fail sitting for O'levels. And she said,what happen if I pass and can sit for O'levels. I was shocked after what she told me and I laughed my ass out. Its a good thing though but I don't wish to be hoping and over confident about passing and sit for O'levels.
Thanks Fir for the website! Now I can watch any movies that I'd miss!
+ Too much. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
11:34 PM
The sin faces I've seen. The combination of all the emotions mixed up after reading Nat's blog. Though,the jealousy,the pain,the hatred,the ones I use to be closed with. There,posted in his blog. The feeling of jealousy is just higher than anything else. I totally realise who I am among all the ones Nat use to love. Even though I'm misjudging myself,but then I feel greatful though to have such a wonderful person as someone I treasure dearly in my heart. It was hard,fucking hard,at first. The term patience and self control is all curled up in my heart and mind. Having to save this relationship isn't as easy to save your withered flowers. You can buy a new flower,with your money. But the love,you can't buy it. You have to earn it. Which then it takes alot of your stupid life. Though I do have the concious mind that I'm still young and do need to enjoy this teenage life,but this will be the biggest memories that will never be forgotten. Once bitten twice shy. Many know our past. How we broke up and patch up. Yes. Its a dilemma. I'm still afraid it would happen again,for now. I admit,I'm still having this childish mindset. Even though I get the clear understanding,I'm just stubborn in a way. Can't help it. And I do know,nothing last forever. Yet. I miss those faces that use to share my love. The first who taught me relationship matters. The ones,I call fucking bastard. The people,I hurt their precious heart. Though I'm dreadly sorry,but it has happen and its all behind us. Childish is the name for me. But then again,thanks to Hadi. The very first person I know in the HBT. If I don't know him,I won't even recognise the faces of HBT people. Where I'm quite close with. Hang with,smoke with,joke with and in love with. Ahahah! Again,Nat is my biggest challenge in my teenage life. His the one who make me open up my eyes wide to the whole world. I love you my dearest one. Thanks again for all the things you've done. Be it bad and good. And take note ehk,oits not over keh? We are still blloming the love rose. Mepek! Sorry ehk emo sebentar. Just craps here. :] + Never ending mind. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
10:56 PM
Withered White Rose.
My waistline are still aching. Ouch! Camel's weep? I'm currently watching The Story of Weeping Camel's. It was told by the narrator that the young camel's was abandoned by the mother. Sad or what? I saw tear's and the crying sound made by it. Awwwww....
Ana sucks! To the fucking core. She's such a nag. Sorry la but she really irrtates me. She was like telling people what to do but she didn't help that much. There were alot of drinks need to be made but she just stood one corner and look. Stupid "store manager".
We make another new bestfriend! His quite fun. Outgoing and his like the type of 'heck care' kind of person. And of course not forgetting my best partner,Wei Fang with his "together-gether". Okie. Its tiring.
Had to wake up at 5am and needed to reach there by 6.45 but me and Hadi was late. Lucky that Ana didn't nag. Ahahaha! And I'm still waiting for the faces to turn up and say hello to me. Bleargghhhh...
+ Motor bikes turns me on. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Friday, December 12, 2008
10:58 PM
The name,Khairiyah and Taufik. Since 07/07/07.
Crazy in love?
Crazy lovers?
Blearggghhhhhhh....
.I Wrote This Shit.
10:47 PM
Booo. You bore! To the core,jerk!
Okie I'm fucking irritated plus bored. Yup. The sickening mood. My aunty borrowed $4,000 from a bank. Crazy or what? And borrowing it under my mum's name? Fuck. If she can't pay up,things will get all messed up.
Blearggghhh.. Tomorrow will be another day with a major loser. No entertainment then. I can't laugh my ass out with any stupidity of mine. Blearrggghhhhh... Oh I forgot. Big man already. Matured already. Yada yada. I'm childish perr... This is so irrtating sia. Fucking fine then! Ass jerk.
I'm so getting myself a pack of ciggies tomorrow after work!!! Just tell my parents off I finish work late and there I can get my pack of ciggies! Yaye!!! Marlboro reds! Here I come!!!
The ego you kept deep within your heart Its killing you slowly without any notice The world,the wonder's breaking apart Every humans was cut to pieces
+ A job well done to the one who did that. Wakakakaka! lame. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
12:28 AM
And I'm just pissed for fucking reason.
I feel like ging for a run now. But my legs are tired. I made quite a few frappucinos today. Yayyeeee!!! All I'm left is doing the hot beverages and remembering the recipes. Darn. I'm going for the injection later afternoon with I don't know who.
I swearly miss my girlfriends. No call. No message. No plans for outings. Wtf?? How many times do I have to emphasis things about my friends?? Its just getting sick. I've been slacking my ass off with a few of HBT's and my boyfriend. But my friends?? Vanish to I don't know where. No news. No words of ehk want to hang out? When you're not working? Free tomorrow? Or maybe drop by to my work place and have a chat with me. That was what I'm expecting.
I bet. After reading,they will eventually message or I don't know laa.. Only for a meantime. After that,gone again. Fuck sia... Again. FUCK SIA!
I want ciggies. But its either no money or its hard to get the 'black' ones. Better off quit sia. This is totally sick. I just want to have shesha,AGAIN! Any treats??
+ Its totally insane. So much for bestfriends huh? +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
11:50 PM
Honey,I miss my lovely butter cookies.
Okie. Somehow I sworely miss the butter cookies he use to buy for me after his home from school. Hehe.. Working tomorrow. And I have no ciggies. Pathetic. No one wants to buy for me. Blearghhhh.. Fine people.
Next,18th of December 2008,Thurday. A big day for me! My N'level result is near! Gosh.. I'm abit nervous.. I'm ready for the worst though but somehow the feeling is like " Ehk fucker,N'level la giler! You mut feel the nervous-ness! ". Erggghhhh!!!!
My keyboard is like stucked. I have to really press down the letter S and the number 1/!. I really need a new laptop sia! Can't stand the irritating-ness of this old shit I'm having.
Hady's Tall bla bla Raspberry Frappucino Blend taste sour and quite nice though. First time customize his own Starbucks drink. Nyahahaha!
+ Love,I saw the sheep flying over my HDB flat and singing to the tune Lost,A7X +
.I Wrote This Shit.
2:34 PM
I want a piece of you. Can??
Ok. Starbucks was indeed fun. And of course tiring. All job is tiring. Made quite a number of new friend. And and and.. Got free drinks everytime I go to work!!! Yummy!
I miss my friends My slacking friends I miss my bitch Who loves to ditch
I miss the school The stupid,no standard school
Bleargghhhhh... The people I miss dearly,let me state their names here. Nurul Faeza,Khaleeda,Siti Ummairah,Ashaidil,Naushad,Samir. Dearly miss! But I miss the others too. I won't forget you all.
I'm working from 5-11pm tomorrow. So those who is looking for me,only at this hour keh??
Ohh.. NUR FAIZ! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! miss you boy.. ehk ehk.. miss you 'abang'.. hehehe...
+ And I've always miss my dear Taufik/Nat. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
1:23 AM
Such Tragic. Moronic. Pain in the heart.
Happy 1 year 5 months Anniversary Muhammad Taufik aka Nat!!!!
Yayeee!!!! Hopefully we can last 'till 2 years? Hopefully laaa....
Oh yea..
My Samsung handphone. *sob sob* The screen... *sob sob* CRACKED AND BLANK!!!
Goodbye digital camera.. Goodbye semi-acoustic guitar.. Goodbye shopping..
Sad.. I thought I could shop and save up when I get my first pay. But yea,my handphone. Best! Don't ask what happen. I don't wish to share. I only tell if you can get me a phone ok jerks and bitches? Sorry ehk if you thought that you're insulted by the word jerks and bitches. I just like that word ah.. Don't mind me. Quite pissed about what had happen. But its ok. What's done,is done right? Bleargghhhh.. New phone coming up..
Ok. I miss Taufik. I want to hug him and kiss him and smell his smelly armpit! Kidding. He smells good.. Awww... I love him so much laaa..
+ You think lovers eat their shits together? +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
1:40 AM
i love you.. i miss you.. i'm just sick. + please.. i'm sorry. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
12:41 AM
The whirl in my head.
One problem not solve. Tagged along another and another. Yaye to khai!!!
I'm feeling fucking helpless. And I know,I did nothing wrong. But then,what sia? I'm having a fucking hardcore headache and cramps all over. I got work later evening. Yaye! I feel so uncomfortable now. Its like almost everything is slipping away. I miss him. I want his warm touch. His soft lips on my skin. His caressness. The symphony of his heart. Blearggghhhhh....
I just don't know why I just feel useless. It feels so unappreciated. I don't know. I'm sick. That's all I know now.
If only I can just give up my work and handed it to you.
I'm just being plain pathetic. If only I could be apathetic. Skin me off. I'm just plain sympathetic.
The faith I plant The believes I had
I know you can...
And if you think I'm slicing you bit by bit,kill me. I don't deserve you,I guess.
+ If I'm killing,kill me too. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
11:39 PM
Fuck parents.
I swearly hate my little brother. Fucking pampered! I'm their sister and yup,told my mum I smoke. I beat them up,for a reason. Now what? In revenge that my parents would fucking slap me and punch me at the face again,infront of them? Why can't I have a brother who is loving and always listen to their sister. When they are sick,or hurt or when they want something,I sacrifice my savings to get it for them. I pick them up from school even though I'm just plain lazy. I care for them even though I wish not to bother. I hate my dad who always side them. My mum,love to talk big. When they scold my mum back,she just say 'kurang ajar ehk kau'. Wtf?? If me,I was chase with a broom and was hit at my leg. I don't understand why Ummairah would dote so much on her little brother. Oh I forgot. She's fucking lucky. I just feel like killing them. But the feeling of sympathy for them is there. I just can't do it. Such luck. I wish I could just have a simple,lovely and just understanding family. Oh fantasy...
So today,I lied to my parents that I work today. But then,I went to Pasir Ris park with my TAUFIK. We play Black Jack and Tai Ti with a dumb deal. Then played guitar by the water breaker. I love him..
If only I could throw this heart away And be tamed by the devils How I wish the love would stay And kill those little evils.
Trying to savour the times I spent With the one I call my dear ones Lovely letters,messages I've sent All shattered to tears,oh what have I done.
+ Little evil playing their game. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
12:46 PM
Nothing-ness.
My tag board has gone silence. Not even my 'bf' would tag here. Best kepe?!? Tag blog org lain boleh. Aku nyer tak nak tag. BUTO LAAAA!!!
I'm quite pissed by everything. I just beat up my two brother whose dick not yet cured after they have been circumsized. Best or what? Yup. Totally fucked up by everything. Wonder who can make my day. Or maybe I make my own day. Blearrggghhhh.. Aku kan siape kan.. Chibai laaa!
I want to have Mega Mac Spicy! I'm hungry!
Fuck.
The shallow heart Covered up with your spice The empty space Covered up with your shits.
Okie nonsense. Doesn't rythme at all. Best. WHAT A GREAT DAY!!! So much for being happy la siol!
+ Fuck you people la! So much for calling you my everything. +
.I Wrote This Shit.
12:35 AM
Suicide love. Kill me.
Hadi,I just wish to cut of your tongue. Sorry. Thanks to your mouth,you're right. Laugh,later cry.
There's always a reason to everything. So? I'm tired. So? I'm hungry. So? I'm having a bad headache. So? I want to smile. So? I want to be happy at all times with the ones so dear in my heart. So? I want to die. So? What can you say about the term used "so?"? Its like telling you don't even care ain't it? Its like so what? Its doesn't bother me. You're nothing to me. NOTHING!
Okie. Random shits again. I'm just being plain dumb. All I ever want is just to smile all day long. Laugh,share and listen to each other. Bleeaaarrrrggggghhhhh... What do I really deserve?!?! This is plainly sick! Its not a want here. Its a need ok?
What's the use of going back to the same restaurant and get the same dish when you are bored with it? A big question mark there. Heard some complaints. That's all.
What a morning. So?
+ I still do love you. So is your reply,I guess. I don't assume. +
