> My unseen sins

~~Saturday, November 22, 2008~~

12:41 AM

If only.. But I know it will never happen.

My training today was fun,and very lively. A few friends I know,had make me laugh and let me share my nonsense. And so,I remember a few names like Adila,Danial,Amalina,Nazumy (ilikehisname),Fidah,Alex,Hazly,Nicole,another Nicole and Amanda. The coach name was funny. Hermmie. Like hermie crab. Hehehe.. Crap! Had smoke break more than 3 times! Cool.. Molly wasn't there. Bastard!

And so,after my class,I had surprise. Something that isn't expected. My boyfy fetched my from there! From Commonwealth la siow!!! Shocked!!! Almost to tears. Its like the sweetest thing he did. Awww.. You make me love you so much,my dear Nat! So,had apple pie from Macdonald's with him and sat under a void deck until 12.10.

Reached home and my dad. He asked me to quit this job. He told me he hate me going home so late and saying I'm girl not a boy. So what? If I'm a boy,I can go out late nights? So your telling me I can't go out at night until I have a husband? And when my little brother can go out at night when his at my age? Do you think is fair?

Why do guys,especially dad's. Like to look down on girls? We aren't weaklings. We can protect ourself. We girls are only weak emotionally. But if we train ourself to be strong,we can beat guys. I'm fucking jealous enough that my friends,especially girls can go out at night. The latest time,12am. But me,until 7pm? WTF??? If you say until I get married,then I wish I'm married now. I hate this. I hate parents who aren't understanding at all! If only I'm guy now,I think I would be my friends now catching a movie or sit around any cafe that opens 24hrs.Won't life be great? If I were to be a guy,the disadvantage is that I won't get the chances to be with my dear. The one I love dearly. I can't wear dress nor put make ups.

One wrong move,and I'll be in girls home. That is what he always said. Even if I smoke. If he caught me smoking,then too bad. I have a new home. With the minahs there. I hate my life. Its stressing enough. Having a dad with this kind of attitude and the way he think.

No one understand. I hate my own,blood and flesh dad. Thanks "parents".

Happy to dole. Best!

+ Dear,thanks. I love you. +

.I Wrote This Shit.