Heard it all from his voice. Damn. Must you guys tell him all these thing as if you're the uztad?? There is things you guys didn't know. You may listen to you're uztad about not to solat 5 times a day isn't legit even though you fast. Tapi,klau niat hendak berpuasa,takkan tak diterima? You know Allah tu maha adil. Then,why you have to say all those stuff to him? You ain't God who counts his sins'. Dosa itu antara engkau dan tuhan.
And if you aren't fasting,then its you problem. Not mine. But please larh,respect those who are fasting infront of you. Atleast he is keen to fast. And really wanted to part of this religion,I guess. I roughly know how he feel deep inside. Don't meddle with agama if you roughly know about this. You can say,you have read the Al-Quran,far way then the one who are still fresh in this things. Nothing stops you. But there's lot more you need to know. I'm not teaching people on religion. I myself don't really solat 5 times' a day. Sometimes'. I know, its a must to solat in life. Tpi klau hati blum terbuka uat per? Kau solat tpi perangai mcm setan uat per?
I'm sorry people klau terasa. Sometime's,it dissapoint me to see you muslim's action during this ramadhan month. I'm not saying I'm perfect and solat 5 times' a day,or going to religious classes and such. Its some things' that we muslim have to reconsider. And to my love,don't think about it anymore. If you really want to fast,go ahead. No one is stopping you. Don't listen to those who wants to teach you stuff that they themself don't do the right thing. And of course I apologise as I often meet you. Curfews'. Hope you understand, dear. Patients aytes??
Till then. I love you my dearest Md Taufik.
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
12:01 AM
As it looks like eternity..
If only I have those powers or wishes that can stop you frowning over the past. I can say I roughly know,that you have gone through alot. I know you misses her. I can't do anything. I can only listen to what you have to say and let your heart out. I can't read minds. I can't know what you really want deep inside.(and to all readers',im not heartbroken nor sad tau tau tau.)
Those painful and happy memories will always be in mind. Its hard to forget it. Been through there more than 4 times' actually. Alot ain't it? Haha. Time would heal slowly. I hope,things will be alright. (kawan-kawanku yg ku syg, tolong larh berdoa untuk aku supaya aku sentiasa bersabar dan kuat dihati ye.)
Oh ya,I love you my dearest friends. Even though we aren't close,still I appreciate you all as my mates. Thanks for the memories. (things has changed to the un-expectant.)
Anyway,to my dearest dearie dear love,I MISS YOU LARH SEYY... and of course, loving you like damn shitss. Till then.
.I Wrote This Shit.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
8:15 PM
Its crushing me down..
My mind is disturbed. I can't sleep well anymore. I don't understand why I have to bring up this matter. (pause,before i continue i need a piece of tissue paper.)
After yesterday incident,I felt so scared deep inside. To me,its like deja vu. Its the same thing happen to me and Sallimi before. After I tell him how I feel, he didn't pick up my calls and.. Its over. If only I could go back to yesterday, I would never want to bring the matter up. (bukan niat aku untuk menyakiti hati mu..)
School,makes me feel down further. We talked about the friendship we used to have last year,as in,with the boys'. We use to be so close. We share secrets and jokes. You used to help us when ever we have problems'. You gave us the name Blue Ladies. But eventually,you forgotten us completely. Seldom you talked to us and joke around. I,us,remembered so clear how wonderful it was last year. I know,maybe we are in different class now. But does it have to affect our friendship?
Gosh.. What had happen? The fear,the pain. Damn,its crushing me. I don't want this to end. Nor my relationship. I need him,I love him. Only him. But why this has to happen? Now,our friendship is drifting far apart. What would you say? Blame us for not hanging around with you guys after school? (sobsob)
Till then. I missed you guys,and forgive me my love.
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, September 17, 2007
11:28 PM
Art preparations and exams..
My art preparation has been keeping me busy. I just love to create new ideas and draw. And being a designer has always been a dream since I was a small kid. Exams' so near and I'm rushing through notes. I left out alot of topics in each subjects,except English,MT and Art.
BANG BANG! Shoot me in the heart please...
I hope I can be emotion-less. So,I can't cry,get angry or fucked-up. I just felt this pain in the heart. Yea-yea,I know you missed her but then I'm not the messenger. Passing message telling you missed her telling her to stay happy and blablabla.. I'm not your mate,aites dear? I just don't want you to feel sad,depress and such. You may look happy but you aren't deep down. And I know,only she can make you happy. Too bad for me. I tried but failed eventually. (let me grab a piece of tissue first..)
Well,can't say no more. Hope you won't be sad or depress and such over this ok dear? I don't even wish to bring this matter up. In fact,I have alot in mind. Only let out in my private blog. (no one actully knows except for. so it means no one read except for me. get me??)
(Strechhhhhhhhh.......) Physically tired. Less sleep,more studies. Till then,I miss him. And the other him,you know who. 16/05/06. Do you remember??
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
3:40 PM
Its all about me.
These are just randoms. If you don't like looking at it and so called "menyampah", then just close the windows. Don't comment much. And I'm not a big slut. Thanks..
Went to Geylang yesterday with family. Break fast at Haig Road hawker centre.
Nothing much happen. Just bought clothes for the first day of Hari Raya.
But.. There's a question I wanted to ask. Why do the minah's there put eyeshadows?
Its only Geylang. Klau ader jemputan kahwin takpe juga. Eyeliner,blusher,counceller
and mascara,its fine but,EYESHADOWS?? Ape sia dlm fikiran dorang? If back from work,
optinal larh. Haiyoo.. Dah cukup lawa larh deii. Not even me asking this question,so
do my dad. Oh nevermind. Asl kan tak cari psl sudah.
Anw,I missed Nat so much larh sial. Haish.. 26 more days to fast. Calculation correct??
Till then,Vadiella is off to have a bath then break fast then smoke.. ++
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
10:47 PM
The fasting month begins within this few hours..
Without noticing,the fasting month is about to begun. So,kena tahan nafsu. No food,confirm boleh nyerr. No drinks,also boleh nyerr. No smoking during daylights hour,SHIT I DON'T THINK CAN TAHAN! ! Hahahahaha!
Insya'allah dapat aku bertahan nafsu merokok. Sudah jadi kebiasaan menghisap rokok. But then its good for Taufik as he sometimes' has the difficulty in breathing. So,I harap you dengar kata-kata I. I'm just doing this for the sake of you health ok dear? You tak heran,you pe pasal. Lalalalalalalala.. As I care about you ok dear?? Ehehehehe..
Anyway,wishing all the umat islam yang akan menjalani berpuasa pada bulan Ramadhan ini,Selamat Berpuasa! Hope I can complete this fasting season and also hope I would skip period this month. Malas nak bayar hutang puasa! Haha!
Till then. Sorry I used malay language. My brain is haywired with the upcoming exams' and some other personal problems'. Oh ya. Aku harap "MAMA dan PAPA" akan selesai masalah korang. Not refering to my parents' ok? Its... ADALAHH! Jgn nk kpo. hehehe...
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
5:41 PM
Riding the small bike.
Well,I actually ride that small bike this early morning before dawn breaks. Which is around twelve to one in the morning. It was tough. The bike is so small that the 3 year old kid can ride it too. But the bike has the same facilities as the big bike like those Phantom's,Super 4 and etc. Its kinda heavy though. Its great riding on it. But the speed can kill. I actually had a minor accident. First track was ok. But when it comes to the second round,I actually speed and crash into other rider's. Fuhh! Gladly I'm fine. Just minor bruises on my hand and legs and scratches on my waist. I want to have another ride again,only if I can please my father that I'm ok. Hahaha!!
Now,I'm off to my cousin's crib. And tomorrow's another schooling day!!! Blearghhh...
Oh I'm so missing my dearest love,TAUFIK!!!
.I Wrote This Shit.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
12:22 AM
Am I late?? Ok. I'm just late by minutes. Well,Happy Anniversary my dearest love. I syg you tau tau tau.. Ehehehehe.. Sayang taufik.. Anyway,Faeza and Aishah,want to play badminton again?? This few days' I'm feeling energetic and feel like dancing around with all type of musics (except jiwangs.that doesn't make me dance) booms my ear! Woohhoooooooooooooooo!! Oh nevermind. Feeling kinda exotic at this late hour. Weird huh? And I need help in CHEMISTRYYYYY!!! Ok done.
.I Wrote This Shit.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
11:49 PM
THIS IS FOR YOU LYZA!!!! Can see the wordings not?? Or want more bigger?? So you don't have to buy magnifying glass. Hahahahaha!
AndI LOVE YOU,MUHAMMAD TAUFIK!!! No offence dear. Its your name aites.
Till then,I want to go shopping larh. But I have no money. Haiyaa..
My family has making me riled up. Blearghh..
.I Wrote This Shit.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
10:59 PM
As today is fine.. Went to watch Ratatouille with my cousin. The show was't that bad. But there's a part which freaks me out. The part where there's alot of rats in the kitchen,cooking. Yuckkss!! Sorry to those who dosen't understand malay. In my previous post,I was making a research about love. Which then I also wanted to improve my malay language. Lalalalallaa.. Hey friends,do you think I'm fat? My bf thinks I am. And I think I do. Comment me please dear friends. Motivate me to lose weight. So I can have my previous body. Lalalalala.. Miss those beauty.. Till then I'm off with my research.
.I Wrote This Shit.
Monday, September 3, 2007
7:45 PM
Cinta.. [Malay Version] Apakah ertinya cinta? Kenapakah cinta ini harus menyakiti perasaan? Adakah silap diantara manusia atau cabaran dari Tuhan? Benarkah bahawa cinta sejati itu wujud? Again,question left unanswered. Aku telah menghadapi segala dugaan tentang cinta. Sungguh aku katakan,yang terindah,hanya sementara tetapi penuh kesakitan di hati. Dan kerana cinta,aku terpaksa bersabar. Bukan aku tak tegah. Bukan juga aku tidak sayang pada dia. Aku telah ditinggalkan oleh seorang yang aku kasihi. Harapan yang telah dimusnahkan.. Kini,aku ditemui engkau. Ingin aku membina cinta baru. Dengan sepenuh hatiku, aku menyayangi engkau. Tiada niat aku hendak mengantikan engkau sebagai kekasih lamaku,tetapi sebagai seorang yang amat penting di dalam hidupku. Aku ingin melihat engkau bahagia. Tetapi,hati engkau hanya pada kekasih lama engkau. Janganlah engkau menipu lagi.. Aku tidak pernah katakan aku tidak benci engkau. Aku tidak pernah katakan aku tidak sayang engkau. Bagiku,engkau larh yang aku sayangi. Dan jika,jika kekasih lama engkau kembali,akanku lepaskan engkau walaupun terasa berat dihati. Aku tidak akan mengharap lagi. Akan aku berikan segalanya asalkan engkau bahagia. Melihat engkau senyum,membuat aku senyum. Melihat engkau ketawa,membuat aku senang di hati. Tetapi melihat engkau bersedih, membuat aku sedih dan hampa.. Dear,I didn't mean to bring this matter up. But seeing you sad and think makes me worry and confuse. Damn,I try to roughly understand you. If you really want something,just don't give up and try again dear. Its not the end yet.. Till then I'm trying to improve my Mother Tongue..
.I Wrote This Shit.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
11:19 PM
As the days' pass by.. The date today was 02/09/'07. In 5 days' time would be our second month anniversary. I find that the time pass very fast. And I've gone through alot when I'm with him. Alot. In a month would be my birthday. And I want to buy myself a baby pooh bear and that cute penguin! More soft toys for me! Weeeeeee! I know its like so childish okey? And the next thing I want is an acoustic guitar which then I'm hoping that my dad would eventually buy for me one. Lalalalalala... This Tuesday,I'm going to watch HairSpray with my cousin. Its been a long time since I went out with my cousin seyy. Miss it. And... Lalalalalalalalala... And I've been told that tomorrow's Chemistry class has been canceled. Fuck! I was hoping for tomorrow's lesson and wanted to study. What a dismay.. Hate you Mr Peh! Haish... And I feel like dancing seyy. Ok I'm bored.. Lalalalalala...
.I Wrote This Shit.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
2:17 PM
My mind-way of thinking.
Don't take it too hard as to what I'm writing here,dear. It's just a way of my mind is thinking. If this isn't the facts,then just tell me. I don't want to argue about this. Well..
Sometimes,you just like to hide your feelings and then you told me that its nothing and that you are fine. I know you are liying. I can't force you so I just keep quiet. I only wish I could pester you to tell me what's going on but I don't want you to think that I'm being annoying. But when I get to notice that you have always lie,not always,about your emotion and thoughts,I wonder if you actually lie in loving me too. Issit true? Or its just my thought? Tell me the truth dear. I don't want to be gullible anymore. I want to feel how you feel now. I don't want to hear lies anymore. I'm just tired about your lies. Let me be hurt now then later. I'm sorry I have to tell you this dear. It isn't about me that has stop loving you. I just need you dear. I love you. That's why I have always keep holding on to this feeling so that there won't be any conflicts.
